Desert Storm! Attack on Iraq!
by Roen Hitashi
Summary: To celebrate this fic's 1st birthday, here's Part 11! As the Shuffle Alliance races after the Devil Gundam, they are confronted by one of the Six Kings, Gundam Heaven's Sword, and its pilot, Damecius.
1. Part 1: The Crisis

_You asked for it.  You wanted a sequel to my first amazingly funny G-Gundam fic, "Deadly New Threat! Attack of the Hairy Bastard!"  Well, here it is! Presenting…_

                                 Desert Strom! Attack on Iraq!

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the real characters or Gundams in this fic except for the God Gundam.  I stole it from Domon last week.  Now it's mine! Ha ha ha! ^_^

_Author's note: There are jokes in this fic that may offend some people.  I apologize in advance for any offense towards the nationality, culture, or beliefs of any readers.  Thank you._

                                          Part 1: The Crisis__

            *Stalker is doing his usual bit.

            STALKER: All right, everyone.  It has been one year since the end of the 13th Gundam Fight.  Domon and Rain are now happily married and living on Earth.  Strangely, even though it's been one year since his death, Domon is still haunted by the ghost of his brother Kyoji.  But more importantly, one man threatens to destroy the peace that has finally returned to the Earth and its colonies!  Let's get things started! *throws off his jacket and eye patch* Gundam Fight all set?  Ready… GO!

            *Some stuff written in Japanese appears on screen.

            DOMON: Desert Storm! Attack on Iraq!

            *The Shuffle Alliance plus their crews are at Chibodee's house, crowding around the Neo-American's big-screen TV, watching as Neo-American president George W. Bush gives a speech to G-Gundam's version of the United Nations.

            BUSH: …We have reason to believe that Neo-Iraqi president Saddam Hussein is trying to develop his own version of the Devil Gundam, which terrorized the Earth and its colonies before it was defeated a year ago, in addition to his already vast arsenal of missiles and biological and chemical weapons.  We must stop this threat before it gets bigger and… uh… threatier.  Neo-Iraq must be freed from this mad-man.  We must-

            *Suddenly Chibodee throws the remote at the TV, busting the screen.

            CHIBODEE: GRRR!!! What the hell does President Bush think he's doing?!  Instigating war with Neo-Iraq is a violation of the "No Wars Treaty" that established the Gundam Fight as the means for settling international disputes! I really don't need this sort of thing right now! Argh! *blasts a Cyclone Punch into the nearest wall*

            SAI: Yeah! What you need right now is a new TV.  It's almost time for Joe Millionaire!

            DOMON: Sai, that show ended last week.

            SAI: Oh.

            *A knock at the door interrupts the conversation.

            CHIBODEE: *trying to calm down* Shirley, could you get that?!

            SHIRLEY: Yeah.

            *Shirley opens the door. A military man walks into the house.

            MILITARY MAN: This is the house of Chibodee Crocket, Queen of Spades, right?

            CHIBODEE: Yeah, it is. What do you want?

            MILITARY MAN: Oh, and I see the rest of the Shuffle Alliance is here too.  Good.  That saves me a few trips and phone calls.  Anyway, all of you will have to come with me.

            RAIN: But why?

            MILITARY MAN: Sorry, ma'am, but I can not tell you here.  You all have to come with me.  That's all I can tell you at this time.

            *Kyoji's ghost materializes behind Domon, scaring the crap out of the younger Kasshu.

            KYOJI: _You should do what he says.  It could be important._

            SAI: The transparent guy is right!  This could be important!  Right, Mister?

            ARGO: …

            SAI: *laughs* ^_^ I agree with you on that, Mister!

            DOMON: Kyoji, do you REALLY have to keep scaring me like that?!

            KYOJI: _Um… yeah._

            DOMON: KUSO!

            *Everyone stares at Domon.

            DOMON: What?... Let's just go, okay?

            *They leave.  A short time later they arrive at the military HQ.

            MILITARY MAN: Sir!  I have brought the Shuffle Alliance, Sir! *salutes*

            GENERAL: At ease, Private.  Could you leave us?

            MILITARY MAN: Sir, yes Sir! *leaves*

            GENERAL: Members of the Shuffle Alliance, welcome to Fort McNutsack!

            MARIA LOUISE: Fort McNutsack… What an odd name…

            *Chibodee starts to crack up.  George just looks at him.

            GEORGE: Might I ask what you are laughing about, mon ami?

            CHIBODEE: Nothing…

            GENERAL: Ahem Anyway, my name is General Homer Sexual.

            NASTASHA: General Sexual, why have we been brought here?!

            GENERAL: *blinks* Nastasha?  Nastasha Zabigopf?  My, you still look as good as you did when we met back in high school.

            NASTASHA: ~giggle~ *blushes*

            ARGO: o.O …??

            NASTASHA: Argo, you take that back!

            ARGO: …

            NASTASHA: I'm warning you, Argo…

            ARGO: …!!

            NASTASHA: No, I'm not going to hurt you.  Just don't talk back next time, okay?

            ARGO: …

            NASTASHA: Good.

            GENERAL: o.O Anyway, the reason you all have been called here is because of a decision made by our show's United Nations rip-off.

            CHIBODEE: And the decision is…?

            GENERAL: Instead of allowing Neo-America to go to war with Neo-Iraq, a small task force will be sent to take down Saddam and his weapons.

            DOMON: And that's why you need us.

            GENERAL: That's correct, King of Hearts.  We can only send the Shuffle Alliance to do this.  Anyone else, and the "No Wars Treaty" would be broken.

            *Master Asia' s ghost appears.  Domon gets the shit scared out of him again.

            DOMON: What is it with all these ghosts today?!

            MASTER: _General Sexual is correct.  The Shuffle __Alliance__ is considered to be a separate peace-keeping force allied with everyone and, at the same time, no one._

            GEORGE: That made absolutely no sense.

            MASTER: _Sorry, I was trying to make a point.  I'll explain._

            CHIBODEE: Does anyone care what this dead, washed-up old has-been has to say? 

            EVERYONE: NO!

            MASTER: _Hmph.  Well, I tried. *disappears*_

            GENERAL: Anyway, a seven person team will be sent into Neo-Iraq for this operation.

            SAI: Seven people?

            ZUISEN: He means the five of you plus two others, Sai Sici.

            SAI: Oh.

            GENERAL: Anyway, we have a spy inside of Neo-Iraq.  Don't worry about finding him, he'll find you.  He should have information  that will most likely be vital to your mission.  That is all you need to know.  Domon Kasshu, King of Hearts, it is time to choose the two others to complete your team.

            DOMON: Hmmm…

            RAIN: Domon, I can do it!

            ALL: What?

            DOMON: No Rain.  It's too dangerous.  You could get hurt.

            RAIN: Domon, if you think that I'm going to let you go off and fight in some other county without me by your side then you are sadly mistaken.  Besides, I have been able to successfully pilot a Gundam WITHOUT getting my ass kicked.

            ALL: WHAT???

            ARGO: …????

            RAIN: That's right, Argo.  Rising Gundam!

            DOMON: Fine.  You're in.

            GENERAL: Okay.  That makes six.  Who will bee your final member?

            *Domon walks over to Gen. Sexual's phone and dials "0".

            DOMON: Operator, get me Neo-Sweden!

                                    TO BE CONTINUED…


	2. Part 2: The Arrival

Disclaimer: I don't own any of these characters, places (the only exceptions are Gen. Sexual and Fort McNutsack), or Gundams.  But… Domon's God Gundam is still mine!  Ha ha ha ha ha! ^_^ Let's continue…

            RAIN: That's right… Rising Gundam!

            GENERAL: That makes six.  Who will be your final member?

            DOMON: Operator, get me Neo-Sweden!

            *Stalker appears

            STALKER: All right, everyone.  As you remember, the Shuffle Alliance was called to Fort McNutsack to be given a special mission.  But there are still several unanswered questions.  Will they survive the mission?  Will they succeed?  Why is Domon seeing ghosts?  And the most immediate question, what does Domon want with Neo-Sweden?  Let's get things started!  Gundam Fight all set?  Ready…GO!

                                    Desert Storm! Attack on Iraq!

                                             Part 2: The Arrival

            *A phone rings in a Neo-Swedish hotel.  A familiar-looking, green-haired young woman answers it.

            WOMAN: Hello?

            DOMON: Hi, Allenby.  It's Domon.  There's something that I need to ask you.

            ALLENBY: Gasp You mean… you and Rain finally broke up and now you want me?

            DOMON: Uh… actually, Allenby, Rain and I are happily married.  What I really want is your help…

            *Domon fills Allenby in on the situation.

            ALLENBY: Don't worry Domon.  You can count on me. *^_^* I'll be there tomorrow morning.  Bye!

            DOMON: Bye. *hangs up the phone* Okay, Allenby's in.  She'll be here tomorrow.

            CHIBODEE: But why tomorrow?!

            ARGO: …!!! ^_^

            CHIBODEE: Why you…!!! I'm gonna kick your ass!!!

            *Chibodee leaps onto Argo.  A fight breaks out.  Soon, Chibodee is bruised and beaten, knocked-out on the floor.  Argo dusts himself off.

            GENERAL: All right.  You all can spend the night here.  Private!  Show to Shuffle Alliance to their rooms.

            PRIVATE: Sir, yes, sir! *salutes*

            *Later, in their room, the Kasshus prepare for tomorrow's mission.

            RAIN: This operation won't be easy, Domon.

            DOMON: Right.  I'll have my father send our Gundams immediately.

            KYOJI (Deuce's note: He's a ghost.  Remember?): _But Domon, you have TWO Gundams.  Which one will you use?_

            DOMON: No.  You can't be here.  You're dead.  It's impossible.  *covers his eyes like a child* Ha! If I can't see you, you can't do anything to me.

            *Kyoji pulls Domon's hands away from his face. (Don't ask me how.  He just can.)

            KYOJI: _Boo._

            DOMON: AAAAHHHH!!!!

            *Domon leans too far back in his chair and falls over.  Kyoji vanishes.

            RAIN: *helping Domon up* Are you okay, dear?

            DOMON: Yeah, I'm fine.  Where's the phone?  I'm calling Dad.

            *Domon calls the Neo-Japanese space colony.  An operator answers.

            DOMON: Could you please connect me with the Gundam Research and Development lad?

            OPERATOR: One moment, please.

            *Soon, a phone rings in the R&D lab.  Domon's father, Dr. Kasshu, answers.

            DR. KASSHU: Hello?  Dr. Raizo Kasshu speaking.  Who is this?  Oh, hello Son!  How are you and Rain?

            DOMON: We're fine, Dad.  Hey, listen.  Could you do us a favor?

            DR. KASSHU: Sure thing.  What is it?

            DOMON: I really can't tell you why, but could you send my God Gundam and Rain's Rising Gundam to Fort McNutsack?

            DR. KASSHU: I'm sorry, Domon, but I can only send Rising Gundam.

            DOMON: Why?!

            DR. KASSHU: Well… last week the author broke into my lab and made off with the God Gundam.

            DOMON: Deuce! I'm gonna kill you!

            DEUCE: Don't think so.

            *An elephant drops onto Domon, crushing him.

            DEUCE: Give up?

            DOMON: Ngh… No…

            *A 100 ton weight drops on top of the elephant, crushing Domon even more.

            DEUCE: How about now?

            DOMON: …Okay…Just get…it off…of me…

            *Deuce makes the elephant and the weight disappear.  Rain runs over to Domon.

            DR. KASSHU: Domon?  Are you still there?

            RAIN: *picking up the phone from the floor* Hold on, Dad.  He tried to pick a fight with the author and kinda paid the price.

            DR. KASSHU: Oh, well in that case, I'll wait.

            DOMON: *slowly climbing to his feet* I'm fine.  *takes the phone from Rain* Well, since you don't have the God Gundam, Dad, send Shining Gundam instead.

            DR. KASSHU: Sure.  As soon as I get the God Gundam back I'll send it to you.

            DOMON: Thanks, Dad.  Bye.

            DR. KASSHU: Good bye, Son.

            *The next morning the team is assembled and all the Gundams have arrived at Fort McNutsack.

            RAIN: Good morning, everyone.  How did you all sleep?

            SAI: Great!

            CHIBODEE: Fine.

            ARGO: …

            GEORGE: Miserable.  Chibodee's snoring kept me up all night.

            *Allenby runs up to Domon and gives him a hug bear hug.

            ALLENBY: Domon!  Hi!  Remember me? *squeezes Domon even tighter*

            DOMON: *struggling to free himself from the young woman's grasp* Hi, Allenby.  It's good to see you too.

            RAIN: Uh, Allenby, could you let go off Domon?  He's starting to turn blue.

            ALLENBY: Huh? *notices the choking Gundam fighter in her arms* Oh.  Sure.

            *Allenby lets Domon go.  He drops to his knees grasping for air.  Just then, General Sexual walks in.

            GENERAL: Okay, is everyone ready?

            ALL: Yeah.

            GENERAL: Okay.  Everyone into your Gundams.  We will transport you instantly to Neo-Iraq.

            *The fighters enter their Gundams and activate their Mobile Trace Systems.  You know what happens next.  Go ahead.  Fantasize all you want.  I'll wait….Done yet?  No.  Okay, I'll give you another minute….How about now?  Good.

            GENERAL: Good luck and Godspeed.  Private Parts!  Activate the Instant-Transport-O-Matic!

            PARTS: Sir, yes, sir!

            *Parts throws a switch.  In a flash, the seven Gundams disappear.  The Gundams reappear in an ordinary-looking suburban neighborhood.  The group leaves their Gundams.

            ALLENBY: Where are we?

            GEORGE: I don't know, but we certainly aren't in Neo-Iraq.

            *Argo looks at his watch.

            ARGO:  Hmmm… If seems that we have been transported a few hours back in the Cartoon Network programming line-up.

            *Everyone stares at Argo in shock.

            ARGO: What? I don't have a speech impediment.  I just choose not to talk.

            DOMON: Well, if what Argo says is true, then what show are we in?

            HAMTARO: Hi!  Do you want to be my friends?

            OUR GROUP: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! EVIL HAMSTER! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!

            *The group begins to run away.  Unfortunately for them, the demon hamster, Hamtaro follows right after them.

            HAMTARO: Come back!  I want to be friends with you guys!

            DEUCE: Hang on guys.  I'll get you out of this.

            *Deuce uses his weird author powers to transport the group of fleeing Gundam fighters to Neo-Iraq.

            RAIN: That was close.

            DOMON: *rubbing up next to his wife* Not as close as last night…

            RAIN: Domon! You can't talk about that kind of stuff in this fic!

            DOMON: Sure I can.  I'm staying within the limits of a PG-13 rating.

            CHIBODEE: What's the matter, Rain?  How close DID he get last night?

            *Rain slams Chibodee with a giant mallet.

            RAIN: PIG! *whispering in Domon's ear* Tonight.  Shining Gundam.  I'll wear "The Dress"…

            *Domon's eyes light up.

            DOMON: *grinning like the Cheshire Cat* "The Dress"…?

            RAIN: Uh-huh.

            SAI: Hey!  Mr. Author Guy!  What about our Gundams?

            DEUCE: Oh! I almost forgot about them!  Okay!  Stand back.  They'll be here in a second.

            *Deuce snaps his fingers.  All seven Gundams land on top of Domon.

            DEUCE: Oops.

            *Suddenly Shining Gundam rises out of the pile of Gundams.

            DOMON: Deuce!  You are so dead!

            DEUCE: AAAHHH!!!

            *Domon begins to chase the author all around the immediate area, preventing him from continuing to write the story at this time.  So that means…

                                    TO BE CONTINUED…


	3. Part 3: The Spy

Author's Note: Before I begin part 3 I'm going to take the time to answer some questions.  BLINX KASSHU to answer your question, I have the _G-Gundam Technical Manual_.  There's information on every Gundam and character that appears in the series.  That's all for this weeks Q&A, now for the fic.

Disclaimer: I don't own anything except for myself, Mr. Black, and his Afro Gundam.  Despite Domon's best efforts, the God Gundam is still mine.  Ha ha ha ha ha! ^_^

            *Stalker appears

            STALKER: Now everyone.  It has been one day since the Shuffle Alliance arrived in Neo Iraq.  Rain has managed to convince Domon to leave the author alone…

            DEUCE: Yeah, but does he ever listen?

            STALKER: Good point.  Anyway, today a Gundam from Domon's past will resurface.  But will it be friend… or foe?  Let's get things started!  Gundam Fight all set?  Ready… GO!

                                    Desert Storm! Attack on Iraq!

                                             Part 3: The Spy

            *Our heroes are trudging, dehydrated through the Neo Iraqi desert.

            DOMON: *tongue hanging out* Damn! *wipes away a sweat drop from his forehead* Who'd have thought that it would be so *BEEP*ing dry here?

            RAIN: No shit, Sherlock!  It's a desert!  Of course it's gonna be hot and dry!

            *Chibodee rubs up against Rain in a _very_ provocative way.

            CHIBODEE: Unlike a certain hot and steamy gal…

            *SMACK!*

            RAIN: Pervert!

            GEORGE: Shame on you, Chibodee, hitting on a married woman.  You disgust me.

            DEUCE: Damn, man.  You're even more perverted than me!

            CHIBODEE: Ow, geeze… You didn't have to hit me so damn hard!

            RAIN: Serves you right!

            DOMON: *completely dehydrated* Huh?  What's going on Rain?  Damn, I'm thirsty…

            RAIN: Nothing.

            SAI: Chibodee just tried to…

            *Rain shoves a sock down Sai's throat.

            RAIN: Can it, Sai!

            ARGO: This heat is unbearable.  I really could use some water…

            DEUCE: Hmmm… You say you're all thirsty, huh?  I can take care of that.

            *Deuce uses his strange author powers to transport the group to a nearby town.

            DEUCE: Here we are!

            SAI: What about our Gundams?

            DOMON: Don't worry.  They'll just mysteriously show up when we call for them.

            DEUCE: Not the God Gundam.

            DOMON: You give that back to me you prick!

            DEUCE: Nope.  Sorry.

            DOMON: Deuce!  I'm gonna *BEEP*ing kill you!

            DEUCE: Ha!  Fat chance!  If you so much as even threaten me, I'll just use my powers and do something extremely devastating to you.

            DOMON: Go ahead.  Do your worst.

            DEUCE: *evil grin* Okay, you asked for it…

            *In a flash, dozens of hamsters appear at Domon's feet.

            HAMTARO: Hi.  I'm Hamtaro.  These are the Ham Hams.  Do you want to be our friend?

            DOMON: AAAAHHHH!!!! Okay!  I'll stop!  Please, just take them away!

            DEUCE: I knew you'd see it my way.

            *Deuce makes the demon hamsters disappear.

            CHIBODEE: *pointing to a building* Look!  A bar!  We should be able to get some beer, er I mean, water, there!

            *They go into the bar.  Domon and Rain take one of the few tables for themselves.  Chibodee and the others head right up to counter.  Chibodee throws out the names of at least a dozen drinks to the bartender, who just looks at him.

            BARTENDER: *says some Arabic crap*

            CHIBODEE: Huh?

            DEUCE: I'll take care of this.

            *Deuce uses his powers to make everyone speak English.  Chibodee repeats his order.

            BARTENDER: Sure thing.  It'll take a while though.

            CHIBODEE: I can wait.

            ALLENBY: I'll take a Mountain Dew.

            *Everyone just looks at her.

            ALLENBY: What?  I don't drink beer.

            *At Domon and Rain's table, a large pitcher of water has just been brought to them.

            DOMON: Rain, just what happened with you and Chibodee earlier, anyway?

            RAIN: He just tried to hit on me, that's all.

            DOMON: He's dead.

            KYOJI'S GHOST: _Hello, Domon._

            DOMON: AAAAHHHHH!!!!!!!!

            *Kyoji disappears.

            *Meanwhile, at Saddam's palace, everyone's favorite (I mean this in the loosest sense possible) dictator is plotting something.

            SADDAM: *screaming at his intelligence officer* WHAT?! You mean to tell me that the Shuffle Alliance is here in Neo Iraq?!

            OFFICER: Y-y-yes, Mr. Hussein.

            SADDAM: Then start production on Scud Gundam model 2!

            OFFICER: Mr. Hussein!  We can't do that!

            SADDAM: Do it or it's an Anthrax infection for you!

            OFFICER: Yes, sir!  Right away, sir!

            *Back at the bar, Allenby has finished off her 15th Mountain Dew.

            ALLENBY: Bartender!  One more Dew!

            GEORGE: She sure can put away a lot of soda…

            CHIBODEE: She sure can…

            ARGO: …

            BARTENDER: Huh?

            SAI: He says he'll take a Sam Adams.

            *Just then, Chibodee's large drink order arrives.

            CHIBODEE: *wide eyed* ~drool~

            *Soon the group is refreshed and they meet up out side.

            DOMON: Where are the others?

            RAIN: Here they come, Domon.

            *Chibodee, drunk as hell, walks up to Rain and puts his arm around her shoulders.

            CHIBODEE: Ey, babey.  Ya wan ta come ova ta my place ta'night an' have some fun, eh?

            RAIN: Get off of me!

            *Rain pulls out the mallet and begins to wallop the Neo American with it.  Allenby, who is on the world's largest sugar high from her 30 Mountain Dews, heads over to Domon.

            ALLENBY: HiDomon!Doyouwanttohavesex?Huh?Huh?Huh?Huh?Ilikesex!Ohlookabird!HeyNobelGundam!

            *Allenby snaps her fingers to call her Gundam.  Nobel Gundam arrives within seconds.  The Mobile Trace System activates.  Fantasize now.  You won't get another chance in this chapter.  Done yet?  Good.  Let's continue.

            ARGO: …!!!!!

            DOMON: RUN!!!!!

            ALLOENBY: *in her Gundam* WeeeThisisfunGundamFightReadyGoHeyWhereareyouallgoing?!! *she starts a destructive rampage* ComebackhereI'mhornyIwantsexDomonComeonPleasePleasePleaseOooMoreMountainDew!

            DOMON: Deuce!  Can't you do anything!  You are the author!

            DEUCE: Nope.  My powers don't work on people on sugar highs!

            DOMON: Then can you at least give me the God Gundam back?

            DEUCE: No way.

            DOMON: KUSO!

            *After two hours, Allenby's sugar high wears off.  The others collapse from exhaustion.  Chibodee starts to get a hangover.

            DOMON: *pant* *pant* *pant* Geeze, *pant* Allenby, *pant* that was *pant* worse than the Berserker System.

            ALLENBY: I'm sorry.  That's strange, I usually don't go on rampages like that unless I've had 50 Mountain Dews.

            *Everyone collapses in comical anime style.  Later, after everyone else has calmed down…

            RAIN: Didn't General Sexual say something about a spy in Neo Iraq?

            GEORGE: I believe he did.

            DOMON: He said that the spy would find us.

            SAI: Do you think that spy will find us?

            VOICE: Already have, dawgs!

            DOMON: Hey!  I recognize that voice!

            *Out of nowhere a shirtless black guy shows up.  It's Mr. Black.

            MR. BLACK: Yo! What up Shuffle dawgs.  You can call me Mr. Black.  I's the spy dats lookin' for yas!

                                                        TO BE CONTINUED…

            STALKER: All right, everyone, it's the moment you've all been waiting for!  What?  It's not?  Okay.  Never mind then.

Author's Note: I know.  This chapter kind of sucked.  Sorry.  I had those damn state required HSPA tests all week.  I'm kind of out of it right now.  I'll try to do better in the next chapter.


	4. Part 4: Revelations

_Author's note: There is some language in this fic that certain readers may take offense to.  I apologize in advance for any offense and let it be known that I have nothing against other races or cultures.  _

Disclaimer: Don't own anything except myself, Mr. Black, the Afro Gundam, and Domon's God Gundam.

            DOMON: You're gonna give that back right now!

            DEUCE: No chance in hell.

            *Deuce uses his powers to drop an oil tanker on Domon.

            DEUCE: Let's continue the story.

            *Saddam's mansion.  Mr. Hussein is on an elevator lift down to an underground hanger.  It reaches the bottom and the doors open.  Saddam steps out into the hanger.

            SADDAM: Excellent.  Construction on the new Devil Gundam is right on schedule.

            *Suddenly, there's a puff of smoke and a very familiar figure is standing beside Saddam.  It is none other than the Devil himself, Bill Gates.

            BILL: I see my Gundam is nearing completion.

            SADDAM: Yes, my lord.  Everything is proceeding exactly as planned.  The Shuffle Alliance is here in Neo Iraq just as you predicted.

            BILL: Excellent.  Once my Devil Gundam is complete I will use it to destroy the Shuffle Alliance!  Then I will use it to conquer Macintosh and rule the computer industry!  I will then take over the video game industry by destroying Sony and Nintendo and forcing the whole world to use my Xbox!  And then I will use my new Devil Gundam to conquer the world!  Haw!  Haw!  Haw!  Haw!  Haw!  Haw!  Haw!  Haw!  Haw!

            SADDAM: Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!

            *Bill smacks Saddam in the head with his pitchfork.

            BILL: Shut the *BEEP* up!  Only _I am allowed to laugh at the evilness of my plan!_

            SADDAM: *rubbing the huge-ass lump on the back of his head* Sorry, my lord.

            *Stalker appears.

            STALKER: Now everyone, a surprising turn of events has occurred!  The Devil himself, Bill Gates, has revealed himself as the mastermind behind all of Neo Iraq's recent military build ups!  Also, the spy that General Sexual mentioned a few chapters ago has finally appeared.  But, will he have information that will help Domon and the others to defeat this horrible new threat?  Let's get things started!  Gundam Fight all set?  Ready…GO!

                                                DESERT STORM! ATTACK ON IRAQ!

                                                                 Part 4: Revelations

            *A Neo Iraqi street

            MR. BLACK: Yo!  What up, Shuffle dawgs?  You can call me Mr. Black.  I's da spy dats lookin' fo yas.  We can't talk here.  Follow me.

            *Mr. Black leads the group to his secure little apartment.

            MR. BLACK: Okay.  We can talk here.

            DOMON: It's been a while, Mr. Black.

            RAIN: After your Gundam exploded, we thought we'd never see you again.

            MR. BLACK: *blinks* *blinks again* Domon Kasshu?  And Rain Mikamura?

            RAIN: It's Rain Mikamura Kasshu, now. *hugs Domon affectionately* We got married after Domon won the Gundam Fight last year. *^_^*

            MR. BLACK: You just answered my questions before I even axed them.  Anyway, congratulations, Domon, on both yo win and yo marriage.

            DOMON: Thanks.

            ALLENBY: Wait.  You three know each other?

            RAIN: Uh-huh.  When Domon and I fought against Osama bin Laden in the Guyana Highlands, Mr. Black showed up and helped out.

            MR. BLACK: *indicating the rest of the Shuffle Alliance* Okay, I knows who you four is.  But, *looking at Allenby* who da hell is she?

            DOMON: That's Allenby.  We met her during the Final Round of the Gundam Fight.

            MR. BLACK: Okay.  Dat's cool, dawg.  I have just one mo question though. *looks at Deuce* Who da hell is you, mother *BEEP*er?

            DEUCE: I'm the author of this fic and the guy who created you.

            MR. BLACK: *skeptically* Sure you is.

            *Kyoji's ghost appears, scaring the shit out of Domon as usual.

            KYOJI: _It would be wise to take him seriously._

            *The ghost of Schwarz Bruder appears.

            SCHWARZ: _Yeah, just ask Domon what happens when you mess with Deuce._

            *The ghost of the _real_ Schwarz Bruder appears. (You know, the old German guy that was killed by the Devil Gundam and became the basis for Kyoji's android copy.)

            REAL SCHWARZ: _Ah!  Ghuten tahg!  __Lederhosen! *trails off into a string of senseless German shit*_

            ALL: o_O

            KYOJI: _Does anyone one know what this bastard just said?_

            ALL: Nope.

            ARGO: …

            SCHWARZ: *arguing with the real Schwarz* _What do you mean by, "Stole your identity and your Gundam?"  You're dead!  You were dead when I took over for you! _

            *The real Schwarz mumbles something in German.

            SCHWARZ: _You should be happy!  I took you Gundam almost all the way to the final Battle Royal!   No!  Don't give me any of that crap!_

            *The two Schwarzs vanish, still arguing.

            KYOJI:_ sigh_

            MR. BLACK: *to Deuce* If you really is da author, prove it.

            DEUCE: *evil grin* Gladly.

            *Deuce summons a Craw Giant, a Shivan Dragon, and a Serra Angel.  The three creatures begin to beat the shit out of Mr. Black.  Soon, Mr. Black is barely conscious, lying on the apartment floor.

            DEUCE: Convinced?

            MR. BLACK: Ung…yeah…

            KYOJI: _I told you so. *disappears*_

            SAI: Hey!  Where's Bro?  I haven't seen him since Kyoji showed up.

            ARGO: …?

            SAI: No, he's not on the can, Mister.  Bro never left the room.  He would have had to pass me to do so.

            RAIN: He's got to be around here somewhere.

            *The group begins to look the missing King of Hearts.  Five minutes later, George finds him, curled up in the fetal position behind the coffee table.

            GEORGE: *to Domon* Ah!  Bonjour, mon ami! *to the others* I found him!  He's over here!

            *Soon everyone is standing around the cowering Domon.

            DOMON: Is he gone?  So scared… Are the evil ghosts gone yet?

            RAIN: Yes, dear.  Kyoji, Schwarz, and Schwarz are gone.

            *Domon jumps up like nothing has happened.

            ALLENBY: o_O That was strange…

            CHIBODEE: o_O I'll say…

            SAI: o_O Riiiight…

            ARGO: o_O …

            ALL: Ha! Ha! Ha! 

            MR. BLACK: Dat was a good one, Argo!

            DEUCE: *to reader* The funny thing is that I'm writing this and _I don't even know what Argo is saying._

            RAIN: Who are you talking to, Deuce?

            DEUCE: Them. *points to reader*

            RAIN: Oh. *to reader* Hi.  I'm Rain. *waves*

            *Now be a good reader and wave back…. You didn't wave, did you?  Bastard.

            DOMON: Okay.  Mr. Black, what information do you have for us?

            MR. BLACK: Well, I don't got much.  I only gots general information.

            CHIBODEE: Then out with it, damn it!

            MR. BLACK: Don't you talk like dat to me, ya racist bastard!

            CHIBODEE: Who said I was racist, you nigger!

            MR. BLACK: Dat's it, kracker!  I'm gonna kick yo white ass all over this town!!

            DEUCE: Hey!  Wait a minute!  There's no fighting in this fic yet!  That doesn't come until the next chapter!

            MR. BLACK: Fine.  But he started it.

            DEUCE: Shut up before I remove you and all evidence of your existence from this universe.

            DOMON: Now, what info do you have for us?

            MR. BLACK: Anyways, as I was saying the information I gots is very general.  All I knows is dat dey is workin' on a new Devil Gundam.  I also know dat Saddam has ordered production of an army of Scud Gundams.  I also knows dat Saddam isn't da guy dat's mastamindin' dis whole thing.

            DOMON: Who is then?!

            MR. BLACK: The Devil!

            ALL: WHAT?!

            ARGO: …?!

            RAIN: You mean Satan is behind all this?!

            MR. BLACK: Yup.  But his name ain't Satan.  It's Bill Gates.

            ALL: WHAT?!

            ARGO: …?!

            CHIBODEE: You mean to say that Bill Gates, the man who makes that crappy-ass Xbox, is the Devil?!

            MR. BLACK: Dat's right, dawg.

            CHIBODEE: I knew there was something fishy about him.  Now I know what it is.

            MR. BLACK: Now listen.  If yas wants ta defeat these guys, yous all gots ta stick wit me.  I knows where dey's keepin' da thing at.  Follow me.  I'll take yas there.

                                                TO BE CONTINUED…

            STALKER: All right, everyone, it's the moment you've been waiting for!  Domon and the others finally begin their assault on Saddam Hussein and his forces!  Let's wish them luck!  Next time on Mobile Fighter G-Gundam: "Desert Storm! Attack on Iraq! Part 5: The Assault Begins."  Ready…GO!


	5. Part 5: The Assault Begins

Disclaimer: The only things in this fic that belong to me are myself, Mr. Black, the Afro Gundam, and my own personal Gundam, the Skywing Gundam. (Picture Wing Zero Custom from _Gundam Wing: Endless Waltz_.  That's sort of what my Skywing Gundam looks like.) The rest of the characters and Gundams belong to the rich bastards at Sunrise, Inc.  However, I don't feel like returning the God Gundam anytime soon.  I think it makes for a really nice lawn ornament.

            STALKER: Now, everyone.  The time is drawing near for the first confrontation between our group of fighters and the forces of Neo Iraq.  Logic would dictate that the Neo Iraqis have the upper hand due to knowledge of the terrain.  However, our intrepid group has one big strategic advantage.  He is Mr. Black, a Gundam Federation spy inside Neo Iraq.  Mr. Black claims that if the team sticks with him, he will lead them to Neo Iraq's military installations.  Hopefully, he's telling the truth.  Let's get things started!  Gundam Fight all set?  Ready…GO!

                                                            Desert Storm!  Attack on Iraq

                                                              Part 5: The Assault Begins

            *Mr. Black's apartment in Neo Iraq.  The group is huddled around a map of Neo Iraq on the coffee table.  Mr. Black is placing X's as he is speaking.

            MR. BLACK: *indicating points on the map* Okay.  They has a bunch of missile silos here an' here, an air base here, an' the Devil Gundam's secret hanger is right here, under Saddam's mansion.  Our first target though, though, will be here! *points to an industrial complex in the middle of the desert* Dis iz da production plant fo Neo Iraq's army of Scud Gundams.

            SAI: What good will that do?

            CHIBODEE: If you knock out their means of production, then you hurt their defenses.  Say, you're not a stupid as you look, Blacky.

            MR. BLACK: Da name's Mr. Black, fool.

            CHIBODEE: Yeah, whatever.

            ALLENBY: What about that air base?  Since our Gundams really can't defend against aerial attacks I think THAT should be our first target.

            DEUCE: No need to worry.  My Gundam is more than a match for any of Neo Iraq's airborne threats.

            CHIBODEE: You mean YOU have a Gundam?!

            DEUCE: And why the hell wouldn't I?  This is a _G-Gundam fic, after all, so it makes sense that I'd have my own Gundam._

            SAI: Is it strong?

            DOMON: Of course it's strong!  It's MY God Gundam he's talking about.

            DEUCE: Actually, it's a Gundam of my own design.  The God Gundam is back at my house in New Jersey.

            *Domon starts to leave.

            RAIN: Domon, where are you going?

            DOMON: New Jersey.

            DEUCE: It won't do you any good, Domon.  You forget, I come from the real world, not this cartoon universe you live in.  You'd have to travel through different dimensions just to reach my world.  However, in order to do so, you need the special powers I have as the author.  It's pretty complicated stuff.

            DOMON: *turning around* Forget that, then.

            SAI: Hey, Mr. Author Guy!  Can you show us this Gundam of yours?

            DEUCE: Sai Saici, I though you'd never ask.

            *Deuce walks over to a sliding glass door, opens it, and steps out onto the balcony.  The others follow behind him, genuinely intrigued.

            DEUCE: *imitating Domon* Rise, Skywing Gundam!

            *Deuce snaps his fingers, Domon-style.  An object appears off in the distance and progresses rapidly in the direction of the apartment.  Rain is the first to notice the Gundam's unique appearance.

            RAIN: *in awe* ~Gasp~ It's an angel.

            DEUCE: Aven, actually.

            ALLENBY: What's an "aven"?

            DEUCE: I'll tell you later.

            *Skywing Gundam finally reaches the apartment.  It hovers in the air for a moment before it begins to land.  Its wings flap gracefully as it makes its descent.

            DEUCE: *proudly* Ladies and gentlemen, Chibodee, your pick, introducing the Skywing Gundam.

            DOMON: I have three things to say about this.  1.) You stole my pose.  2.) The name sounds a lot like the name of the Gundam you've forced me to use.  And 3.) Why the hell does it look like Heero Yuy's Wing Zero Custom?

            DEUCE: Before I answer that question, I have one of my own.  How the hell do you know Heero Yuy?  He's not even from your series!

            DOMON: We met at Cartoon Network's annual picnic last year.

            DEUCE: …Oh…Anyway, to answer your question, I based the design for my Skywing Gundam on Wing Zero Custom.

            CHIBODEE: Oh man!  How come Jersey Boy gets the cool machine?!

            DEUCE: 1.) I'm the author.  2.) I designed it.  And 3.) You suck!  You don't deserve a Gundam this powerful!  The only other person who even deserves a Gundam like this is Domon, but he already has a powerful Gundam!

            DOMON: Yeah, but it's at your house.

            DEUCE: *BEEP* you!

            CHIBODEE: Well you know what?! Jersey sucks!

            DEUCE: You take that back!

            CHIBODEE: No!  Nothing good ever came out of New Jersey!

            DEUCE: What about the light bulb and the Miss America Pageant?!  THEY came from Jersey!  Oh, the Yankees SUCK!! And so do you!

            CHIBODEE: Why you bastard!  The Yankees are the greatest baseball team in the world!  And I'm the greatest fighter this country has ever known!

            DEUCE: Oh give me a break!  You're not even real, Chibodee!  You're a freaking cartoon character!  You don't really exist!  And as long as I'm here, you have no free will!  I control everything you do!  I control everything you say!  I control everything that happens to you!

            CHIBODEE: Prove it!

            *Suddenly, Chibodee jumps off the balcony and tries to fly like a bird.  He fails and plummets head first to the ground.  Lightning then strikes the spot where he hit.  A few moments later he staggers back into the apartment, slightly charred and still smoking.

            MR. BLACK: Why da hell did ya do that fo, fool?

            CHIBODEE: I don't know.  I just suddenly felt compelled to jump off.  Then I was struck by lightning.

            DEUCE: Do you still doubt me?

            CHIBODEE: Yup.

            *Chibodee is struck by lightning again.

            DEUCE: How about now?

            CHIBODEE: Nope.  And because of that, I'm gonna kick your ass!

            *Chibodee makes a lunge for Deuce.  Deuce just simply snaps his fingers and Chibodee disappears in a puff of smoke.  Seconds later, a cat lands in Deuce's arms.

            SAI: Where'd he go?!

            ALLENBY: I don't know.

            ARGO: O.O …?!

            DOMON: He's gone!

            DEUCE: Chibodee's not gone.  He's right here.

            RAIN: He is?  I don't see him.  Do you, George?

            GEORGE: Nay.  I don't see the buffoon anywhere.

            MR. BLACK: Okay, fool.  Where is he?

            DEUCE: *indicating the cat he's holding* I told you, he's right here.

            ALL: Chibodee's a CAT?!

            ARGO: …?!

            DEUCE: Of course.  I changed him into a cat before he could hit me.

            ALL: YOU?!

            DEUCE: Well, yeah.  Did you all forget that I'm an author?

            *Everyone nods.

            DEUCE: Do you know what being an author means?

            *Everyone shakes their head "No."

            DEUCE: Being an author means that you can do whatever and have whatever you want inside your stories.  As an author, I have powers beyond comparison.  I am an all powerful mage with powers beyond that of the Great Will of the Macrocosm!

            SAI: The Great Will of the WHAT?!

            DEUCE: Don't ask.  I'm just referencing another anime series.

            DOMON: Since you put it that way, I'm gonna go and write a story.

            DEUCE: You can't.

            DOMON: Why?

            DEUCE: You're a fictional character.  You can't do anything without having an author in the real world making you do it.  Basically, you're all puppets to us authors.

            ALL: WHAT?!

            DEUCE: Don't worry.  I'm not the kind of author who'll distort the personalities you were given when the guys at Sunrise, or me, in your case, Mr. Black, created you.  Usually, anyway.

            ALLENBY: That still doesn't explain why you turned Chibodee into a cat!

            DEUCE: Oh, I'll tell you then.  I prefer to use my powers and mess with the characters in my stories for comedic purposes more than I prefer to use my fists or my sword, Skywing and physically fight against you.  I usually hold off on actually fighting until something or someone gets me really pissed off.  I took it easy on Chibodee by making him a cat.  I could have just as easily killed him.  Ain't that right, Chibodee?

            *Deuce scratches Chibodee behind the ear.  Chibodee starts to purr.

            CHIBODEE: Meow. ^_^ _A/N: That's supposed to be a cat smiling._

            RAIN: I think it's time to turn Chibodee back to normal, Deuce.

            DEUCE: But he looks just like my cat.  Can't I keep him like this just a little longer?

            RAIN: No.

            DEUCE: sigh Fine.

            *Deuce sets Chibodee down and snaps his fingers.  Chibodee resumes his regular body in a puff of smoke.

            CHIBODEE: Hey!  I was enjoying that!  Why did you change me back?!

            DEUCE: We're ready to go.

            CHIBODEE: Well, let's go then!

            ALL: Yeah!

            *Moments later, at the outskirts of the city, the group prepares to leave for their first target.  Domon hits his usual Gundam-calling pose.

            DOMON: Rise, Shining Gundam!

            *Shining Gundam appears.

            DEUCE: *ripping off Domon* Rise, Skywing Gundam!

            *Skywing Gundam appears.

            MR. BLACK: Gundam!  Get yo ass over here!

            *Afro Gundam Saiyan Custom appears.  For those of you who don't know or don't remember what this Gundam looks like, here's a little something to help you get an idea of its appearance.  Picture Nappa from _Dragon Ball Z.  Put him on a diet.  Now picture him as an African-American.  Give him hair like Vegeta and you get something that looks very close to the Afro Gundam._

            DOMON: Everybody ready?  Then let's go!

            *Mobile Trace Systems activate and the nine Gundams take off into the desert.  In his mansion, Saddam watches them on a screen.

            SADDAM: Oh, leaving town are they?  Deploy Scud Gundams!

                                    TO BE CONTINUED…

            STALKER: All right, everyone, it's the moment you've been waiting for!  The Shuffle Alliance and the military forces of Neo Iraq clash for the first time!  Next time on Mobile Fighter G-Gundam, "Desert Storm!  Attack on Iraq!  Part 6: The First Confrontation."  Ready…GO!


	6. Part 6: The First Confrontation

Disclaimer: Sunrise owns the real Gundams and the _G-Gundam_ characters.  I own everything else.  I'm thinking of putting the God Gundam up for auction on EBay.

            DOMON: Don't you even dare do that!

            DEUCE: Oh, please.  You can't do anything to me.  I'm much more powerful than you are.  Let's continue this, shall we?

            *Last time…

            DOMON: Everybody ready?  Then let's go!

            SADDAM: Oh, leaving town are they?  Then deploy Scud Gundams!

            *Stalker appears.

            STALKER: Now everyone.  The time has finally come for the first real battle of this mission.  The Shuffle Alliance and company are rushing into an ambush by Neo Iraq's army of Scud Gundams.  Hopefully, they'll come out alive.  Let's get things started!  Gundam Fight all set?  Ready…GO!

                                    Desert Storm!  Attack on Iraq!

                                    Part 6: The First Confrontation

            *The desert.  The nine Gundams are racing for their first target.

            ALLENBY: How much longer 'till we reach that production plant, huh?

            MR. BLACK: It should be over dat sand dune right dare.

            *The team reaches the top of the dune and stops.  The facility lies sprawled out before them.

            SAI: It's huge!

            DOMON: So this is their production plant.

            MR. BLACK: I don't tink dey's expectin' us.  Let's go.

            *They race down the side of the dune and enter the complex.

            DOMON: *looking around* It's awfully quiet.

            MR. BLACK: I agrees wit ya on dat.

            ALLENBY: Where is everyone?  This place is deserted.

            GEORGE: It's almost as if they are…

            CHIBODEE: …expecting us.

            DOMON: Then everyone be on guard.

            VOICE: There they are!  Get them!

            *Suddenly, hundreds of Scud Gundams leap out from behind the buildings and pour out of the warehouses, surrounding Domon and the others.

            RAIN: An ambush!

            SAI: Bro!  We're surrounded!

            CHIBODEE: And outnumbered!

            DOMON: There's only one thing to do then.

            DEUCE: *catching Domon's drift* Hell yeah.

            ALLENBY: What's that, Domon?

            DOMON: We fight our way through!

            MR. BLACK: You're crazy, fool!

            *Domon holds up his right hand.  The King of Hearts crest appears on it.

            DOMON: No, I'm not crazy.  Have you forgotten?  I'm the King of Hearts!  I defeated the Devil Gundam not once, but three times!  On three separate occasions!  This is nothing compared to what I've done in the past!

            *The others' crests start to glow.

            CHIBODEE: That's right.  We were completely surrounded by the entire Dark Army in Guyana and we all survived.  We can do this!

            SAI: I'm ready, bro!  How about you, Mister?

            ARGO: *nods*

            GEORGE: Same here.

            RAIN: Let's do this.

            ALLENBY: Right!

            DEUCE: I've been in since the start.

            MR. BLACK: You's all crazy! …And I likes dat!  Count me in!

            DOMON: Okay!  Ready…

            ALL: GOOOO!!!!!

            *They speed off into the enemy ranks.

            SCUD GUNDAM TEAM LEADER: Open fire!  Don't let the Shuffle Alliance survive!

            *The freaky _G-Gundam_ battle music starts.  George and Chibodee are working together to try and force their way to one of the warehouses.

            GEORGE: ROSE…BITS!

            *Gundam Rose launches a bunch of its mechanical rose bits.  The bits proceed to attack the nearest Scud Gundams.

            CHIBODEE: You ain't so tough!

            *Gundam Maxter draws its handguns and fires at the enemy.  Only a few Scuds are destroyed by the two attacks.

            CHIBODEE: Hmm…It looks like we're going to need to use the heavy artillery.

            GEORGE: Right.  ROSE HURRICANE!

            CHIBODEE: BURSTING MACHINE GUN PUNCH!

            *The two attacks tear through the Neo Iraqi ranks, mowing down dozens of Scud Gundams.  In another part of the complex, Deuce and Mr. Black are fighting their way to the facility's power plant.

            DEUCE: Skywing Javelin!

            *Skywing Gundam hurls a beam javelin.  The projectile impales three Scud Gundams.

            MR. BLACK: Kamehameha!

            *Afro Gundam unleashes a powerful Kamehameha Blast, blowing up a dozen Scud Gundams.

            DEUCE: Aven Lance!

            *Skywing Gundam speeds forward, using a beam javelin like a lance.  At least ten Scuds are destroyed.  Afro Gundam draws its two beam sabers and starts to attack like Anakin Skywalker did at the end of _Star Wars: Episode II.  Meanwhile, Sai Saici and Argo are slowly advancing to the main offices of the plant._

            ARGO: Graviton Hammer!

            *Bolt Gundam swings the Hammer over its head, beheading any Scud that is stupid enough to get near.

            SAI: Shin Ryuusei Kochouken!

            *Dragon Gundam launches an almost Kamikaze-like attack on the opposing Scud Gundams.  Over at the main production building, the Kasshus and Allenby are trying to gain control of the building.

            ALLENBY: Is there no end to these things?

            *Noble Gundam uses its Beam Ribbon to destroy an attacking Scud.

            RAIN: I don't know.

            *Rising Gundam uses its Heat Naginata to slice an enemy Gundam in half.

            ALLENBY: Noble Hula-hoop!

            *Noble Gundam hurls the energy ring, destroying a column of Scuds.

            RAIN: Ultimate bull's eye!  Rising Arrow!

            *Rising Gundam fires beam arrows into the advancing Scuds, picking them off one-by-one.  Domon activates Shining Gundam's Super Mode using the "serene state of mind" bullshit Schwarz taught him.  He then proceeds to attack the nearest Scud.

            DOMON: *holds up right hand.  The King of Hearts crest appears* This hand of mine is burning red!  Its loud roar tells me to grasp victory!  Here I go!  Bakinetsu God Finger!

            *Nothing happens.

            DOMON: I said, Bakinetsu God Finger!

            *Still nothing.

            DOMON: *kicking the control panel* Come on you stupid Gundam!  Do the God Finger, damn it!

            *Kyoji appears beside Domon, scaring the shit out of the King of Hearts.  Literally.

            KYOJI: _What the *BEEP* are you doing?!  The Shining Gundam can't use the God Finger, you dumbass!_

            DOMON: Thanks a lot, Kyoji.  You just made me shit myself, and I'm wearing the fight suit.  Do you know how uncomfortable this is?!

            KYOJI: _Um…no.  And I don't care.  Just use the Shining Finger._

            *Kyoji vanishes.

            DOMON: *slaps himself in the head for being such an idiot* That's right.  _Shining_ Finger.

            *Domon picks the fight suit/shit combo away from his ass, temporarily relieving the uncomfortableness; then prepare to do the Shining Finger.

            DOMON: This hand of mine shines with an awesome power!  Its bright cry tells me to defeat you!  The ultimate- SHIIINIIING FINGER!!!

            *Domon delivers a Shining Finger to every Scud Gundam within reach.  Within a few hours, every Scud Gundam is destroyed.  Charges are layed around the entire plant.  The team evacuates and watches from a safe distance as the facility is destroyed.  In his mansion, Saddam is pissed.

            SADDAM: Damn it!  My Scud Gundams failed to stop them!

            *Bill Gates appears next to Saddam in a puff of smoke.

            BILL: You've failed me again, Saddam.

            SADDAM: *groveling at Bill's feet* M-M-Master!  I'm sorry, master!  Please forgive me!  Give me one more chance, I'm begging you!  It'll never happen again!

            BILL: It had better not, or it's the "Fiery Pit of Eternal Torture via Teletubbies and _Army Men Video Games" for you._

            SADDAM: NOOOOOOOOOO…inhale…OOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!

            BILL: But since I'm in a generous mood, I'll give you another chance.  I have an army that is much more efficient than your pathetic Scud Gundams.  It will also aid in the development of my Devil Gundam.  Just don't fail me again…

                                                TO BE CONTINUED…

            STALKER: All right everyone, it's the moment you've been waiting for!  The Shuffle Alliance discovers something completely horrifying: Neo Iraqi citizens, civilian and soldier alike, have been infected with DG Cells!  Also, eerily familiar Mobile Suits are back: the Dark Army!  This can only mean one thing: the Devil Gundam is almost complete!  Next, on Mobile Fighter G-Gundam, "Part 7: Hell's Machine Almost Complete!  Dark Army Returns!"  Ready…GO!


	7. Part 7: Hell's Machine Almost Complete! ...

            DEUCE: Do I really have to keep writing this stupid disclaimer?

            SUNRISE LAWYERS: Uh-huh.

            DEUCE: Damn it. sigh Fine.  Here it is, the disclaimer

Disclaimer: All official G-Gundam characters and mechs are property of Sunrise, Inc.  All other characters and Gundams belong to me.  The God Gundam is still mine, and will continue to be mine for some time.  Heh heh heh! ^_^

            DEUCE: Happy now?

            LAWYERS: Nope.

            DEUCE: Well screw you.

            *Deuce snaps his fingers.  The lawyers disappear in a blinding flash of light.  When the light dies down, Deuce rubs his hands together in a "job's finished" kind of way.

            DEUCE: Freaking lawyers.  Don't know when to keep their noses out of my business.  They know I don't own G-Gundam.  I don't know why they bother.  Let's continue this story…

            *A Neo Iraqi street.  Domon and Rain are walking from a local market back to Mr. Black's apartment.

            RAIN: Domon?

            DOMON: Yeah, what is it?

            RAIN: I…um…well…I don't know how to say this, but…

            DOMON: Yes?

            RAIN: *blushes and smiles* happy sigh Domon, I'm pregnant.  And yes, Domon, it's yours.

            DOMON: Not Chibodee's?

            RAIN: Not Chibodee's.

            DOMON: So that means what?

            RAIN: Think, stupid!  I'm pregnant and the child is yours!  Don't tell me you don't know what that means!

            *Domon thinks for a moment.  The information finally sinks into his thick skull.

            DOMON: *shock* I'm going to be a father?

            RAIN: Yes.

            DOMON: This is great!  We'd better get back to the apartment and tell everyone the good news!

            *Domon picks up Rain and hurries quickly, but gently, back to Mr. Black's apartment.  Suddenly, they are attacked by a gang of people.

            DOMON: What the hell?!

            RAIN: Domon, I think they want to fight.

            *Domon sets Rain down.

            DOMON: A fight, huh?  Well, you just picked a fight with the wrong person.

            *Domon busts the nose of the nearest man, then picks him up and throws him into one of his comrades.  Another comes at Domon with a knife.  Domon grabs the guy by his arm and flips him Judo style.  A round house kick from the King of Hearts sends another man flying into the wall of a building.  Two guys come running at Domon.  The Neo Japanese fighter leaps into the air and the two attacks bash their heads into each other and drop to the ground, knocked out.  As Domon dusts himself off, one of the men sneaks up behind him.  Domon sucker punches the guy over his shoulder.  After the fight, Rain notices something on the arms of one of the unconscious men.

            RAIN: *indicating the man's arm* Domon, look.  DG cells.

            *Suddenly, a familiar one-eyed, four-legged, yellow Mobile Suit appears from behind a building and targets the Kasshus.

            DOMON: It's the Dark Army…

            *Stalker appears.

            STALKER: Everyone, it's terrible!  DG cells and the Dark Army!  This can only mean one thing:  The Devil Gundam is nearing completion!  This is horrible!  To make matters worse, our team has been weakened due to Rain's pregnancy.  However, another Gundam from Domon's past could tip the balance back in the favor of the Shuffle Alliance.  Let's get things started!  Gundam Fight all set?  Ready…GO!

                                    Part 7: Hell's Machine Almost Complete!  Dark Army Returns!

            *The Dark Army MS opens fire.

            DOMON: Look out, Rain!

            *Domon takes a dive, pulling his wife to safety in the process.

            DOMON: I'll handle this, Rain.

            RAIN: Be careful.

            *Domon steps back out into the open and hits his Gundam-calling pose.

            DOMON: Rise Gundam!

            *Shining Gundam arrives on scene.  Domon gets in.

            DOMON: I'll make quick work of you.  Here I go!  The ultimate- SHINING FINGER!

            *Shining Gundam's goes through the Mobile Suit's head.  MS goes kaboom.  Suddenly, more Dark Army Mobile Suits appear.  Domon attack them too.

            DOMON: Okay.  Here's a Shining Finger for you.  One for you.  And a kick in the balls and a Shining Finger for you.

            *Moments later, all the enemy MSs are destroyed.  Soon the Kasshus are back in Mr. Black's apartment.

            DOMON: Hey, everyone!  Guess what?  Rain's pregnant!

            *Everyone congratulates Rain.

            ALLENBY: Who's the father?

            *Chibodee crosses his fingers.

            RAIN: Domon.

            *Hearing this, Chibodee hangs his head with a sigh.  George comes over and lays his hand on Chibodee's shoulder.

            GEORGE: Désolé, mon ami.  We all know you were hoping that Rain would have your child ever since the two of you got drunk and ended up in bed with each other at that wild New Year's Eve party a few months ago.

            CHIBODEE: sigh Now I guess I just have to wait another month or so to find out if Allenby is going to get pregnant or not.  Damn, I want to be a father so bad...

            ALLENBY: What was that about me?

            CHIBODEE: You don't remember this past St. Patrick's Day?

            ALLENBY: No.

            CHIBODEE: Damn, girl.  You must have been even more hammered than I thought.

            ALLENBY: Why?  What happened?

            CHIBODEE: *nervously* Nothing…

            *In the Devil Gundam's underground hanger…

            SADDAM: Yes.  Yes.  Only one more day until the Devil Gundam reaches completion!  Bwahahahahahahahaha!

            *A familiar man is watching this whole event.

            FAMILIAR MAN: Oh no!  This isn't good!  I gotta let Mr. Black know about this!

            *He runs out of the hanger and calls his own Gundam.  He then takes off towards a nearby town.  Back in Mr. Black's apartment, everyone is trying to make Rain comfortable.

            RAIN: is all of this really necessary?  I'm only a few months pregnant.  I can still fight.

            DOMON: No, Rain.  You must rest.  I don't want anything to happen to you or our unborn child.

            DEUCE: Well, this really *BEEP*s things up.  Our team has been weakened and we need every member we can get.  We need someone to take Rain's place.

            RAIN: Uh, excuse me.  I can still fight.

            *Suddenly, the familiar man from the hanger bursts through the apartment door.

            FAMILIAR MAN: Mr. Black!  We have a problem!

            MR. BLACK: Exavier Skank!  What up, dawg?

            RAIN: Hello, Exavier.  I never got to thank you for saving me in Guyana during the Gundam Fight.

            EXAVIER: You're welcome, Rain.  Oh, I see Domon, Allenby, and the rest of the Shuffle Alliance is here as well.  You too, Deuce.

            DEUCE: Finally.  One of my own characters recognizes me.

            DOMON: Exavier, what's the problem?

            EXAVIER: They've sped up production on the Devil Gundam.  It will be finished tomorrow!

            ALL: WHAT?!

            ARGO: O.O …?!

            EXAVIER: O.o What the hell did he just say?

            GEORGE: We don't quite know ourselves, miseur.  We just guess.

            DOMON: The Devil Gundam will be finished tomorrow?

            EXAVIER: Yes.

            DOMON: Forget about all of the other targets Mr. Black pointed out.  The Devil Gundam is our main priority.  We need to destroy it before it can be activated.

            OTHERS: Right.

            DOMON: Exavier, do you have your Gundam with you?

            EXAVIER: Yeah.  I do.

            DOMON: Good.  Rain's out of action.  We need someone to take her place.

            *Rain gets up from her position lying on the couch.

            RAIN: Domon, I'm not that far into my pregnancy.  I can still fight!  I'm coming with you.

            DOMON: No, Rain.  You must stay here.

            RAIN: You know as well as I do, Domon, that if you leave me here I'm just going to follow after you.

            DOMON: I guess there's no stopping you, Rain.

            RAIN: No, there's not. *^_^*

            DEUCE: With Exavier Skank and his Skank Gundam, we now have ten people.

            CHIBODEE: How long did it take you to figure that one out?

            DEUCE: Don't push me, Chibodee.  Anyway, with ten people, that should be more than enough to take out anything that stands in our way.

            DOMON: Okay, everyone to your Gundams…

            *Mobile Trace Systems activate.  Since I didn't do it last time, I'm going to give you twice as much time to fantasize.  Do it now.  I'll wait.  Done?  Okay.

            DOMON: Shining Gundam.  All set.

            RAIN: Rising Gundam.  Same here.

            ALLENBY: Noble Gundam.  I'm ready.

            CHIBODEE: Gundam Maxter.  I want sex.

            GEORGE: Gundam Rose.  Standing-by.

            ARGO: …

            DEUCE: Skywing Gundam.  Ready to go.

            MR. BLACK: Afro Gundam Saiyan Custom.  All set here, dawg.

            EXAVIER: Skank Gundam.  Let's do this.

            DOMON: Ready…

            DEUCE: Wait!  I have one more thing to do to set this story up for the final few chapters.

            DOMON: Well, do it then.

            DEUCE: Right. *ripping off Domon* Rise…God Gundam!

            *Magically, God Gundam tears through dimensions, arriving in Neo Iraq.

            DOMON: Don't you even think of using it!  If you do, I'll-

            DEUCE: I'm not using it.  I brought it here in the event that you needed it.  You don't have the ability to call the Gundam through dimensions.  Don't use it yet or you'll *BEEP* up the storyline I've worked so hard to create.

            DOMON: Well, when can I use it?

            DEUCE: You'll know when the time comes.  It'll be when you are in dire need.

            DOMON: Okay…You all set?

            ALL: Yeah!

            DOMON: READY…

            ALL: GOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!

            *Baghdad.  Saddam's Presidential Palace.

            SADDAM: Damn!  They're on their way here!  Send the Dark Army and the new Six Kings of the Devil Gundam to STOP THEM!!

                                    TO BE CONTINUED…

            STALKER: All right, everyone, it's the moment you've been waiting for!  The world is in grave danger because the Devil Gundam is finally complete!  The Shuffle Alliance speeds towards Baghdad, only to be stopped by the Dark Army and the Six Kings!  Next, on Mobile Fighter G-Gundam, "Devil Gundam Complete!  Rise of the Six Kings!"  Ready…GO!


	8. Part 8: Devil Gundam Complete! Rise of ...

            _Author's Note: Whew!  Hard to believe that we're on chapter 8.  We've come a long way since we started back in Chibodee's apartment.  So prepare for…_

                                                DISCLAIMER #8

            **THIS STORY IS A WORK OF FICTION IT IS NOT REAL NONE OF THESE CHARACTERS EXIST THE CHARACTERS IN THIS WORK OF FICTION ARE OWNED BU TWO PARTIES ONE PARTY IS MYSELF THE OTHER PARTY IS SUNRISE INC THE CHARACTERS OWNED BY SUNRISE ARE NOT OWNED BUY ME THE CHARATERS OWNED BY ME ARE NOT OWNED BYU SUNRISE I DONNOT OWN THEIR CHARACTERS THAT I DO NOT KEEPING UP HARD TO READ ISNT IT THE GUNDAMS IN THIS FICTIONAL LITERATURE WRITTEN BY A FAN ARE ALSO OWNEDED BY TWO GROUPS ME AND SUNRISE I OWN WHATEVER SUNRISE DOESNTOWN CHEESE TASTES GOOD SO DO CATS SUNRISE OWNS THAT WICH I DONT I DONT I DONT OWN WHAT THEYU OWN THAT I DO NOT GOD GUNDAM ISNT OWNED BY ANYONE NOW ITS SITTING BY A NA APARTMENT IN NEO IRAQ WATING FOR DOMON TO CALL IT**

            _Still with me?  Good.  All right.  Let's start._

            *Stalker appears.

            STALKER: Now everyone.  It's been some time since I've been the first character to speak at the beginning of a chapter.  Anyway, the world is in grave danger because there is only one more day until the Devil Gundam reaches completion.  The Shuffle Alliance is racing towards the Neo Iraqi capital of Baghdad, hoping to destroy the Devil Gundam before it can be activated.  However, six strange new Gundams stand in their way.  Let's get things started!  Gundam Fight all set?  Ready…GO!!!!

                                    Part 8:

            Devil Gundam Complete!  Rise of the Six Kings!

            *The middle of the desert.  The ten Gundams have stopped.  The fighters are taking refuge from the sun in the Shining Gundam's shadow.

            RAIN: Domon, are you sure you know where we're going?

            DOMON: Of course.  My sense of direction is never wrong.

            DEUCE: Well, according to this GPS system, your sense of direction is in the direction opposite of where we want to be going.

            *Domon grabs Deuce by the shirt.

            DOMON: Quiet, you.

            *Deuce snaps his fingers.  Domon is flattened by a 100 ton weight.

            DEUCE: Damn, that brings back some old memories.  I haven't done that to him since Chapter 2.

            EXAVIER: We have a lot of ground to cover to make up for the time we lost going in the wrong direction.  We may not reach Baghdad in time.

            MR. BLACK: Exavier's right, dawg.  We's had better get goin'.

            INUYASHA: Right.

            *Everyone just stares at the half-demon.

            DEUCE: What the hell are you doing here?

            INUYASHA: I don't know.  One minute I'm with Kagome and the others, ready to bash in Shippo's skull, and the next minute, I'm here.

            DEUCE: I'll send you back.

            *Deuce snaps his fingers and Inuyasha disappears in a blinding flash of light.

            GEORGE: It appears that your powers have increased, mon ami.

            DEUCE: They have.

            *Suddenly the group is attacked by the Dark Army.

            SAI: Bro!  It's the Dark Army!

            CHIBODEE: Where the hell did they come from?!

            DOMON: Everyone to your Gundams!

            *Within moments, the team is ready for battle.  George launches a swarm of Rose Bits at the enemy.  They work perfectly.  Argo picks up one MS and throws it into another before bringing out the Graviton Hammer.  Chibodee is firing away with his Gundam's hand guns.  Noble Gundam's beam ribbon beheads one MS after the other.  Rising Gundam's beam arrows are flying everywhere.  Afro Gundam takes a kick in the back before retaliating.  Skank Gundam's beam saber is alternating between working and not working, while Deuce impales dozens of Dark Army Mobile Suits with the Aven Lance.  Dragon Gundam is using its Dragon Fire to keep the Dark Army at bay and Domon is hacking and slashing away at any Dark Army MS within striking distance.  The sound of Vulcan cannons and the smell of gunpowder fill the air.  Suddenly, the image of General Homer Sexual (from Chapters 1 and 2, remember?) appears in all ten cockpits.

            GENERAL SEXUAL: Shuffle Alliance!  We have big trouble!

            DOMON: General Sexual?!  We haven't seen you since Chapter 2!  What's the matter?

            GENERAL SEXUAL: President Bush has grown impatient with this mission and has launched ICBMs aimed at Baghdad!  If they hit, it'll break the Gundam Fight International Treat that established the Gundam Fight!  Stop those missiles!

            DOMON: *to Gen. Sexual* Right! *to the team* Okay!  You heard him!  We've got to stop those missiles at any and all costs!

            DEUCE: I'll stop them.

            ALL: WHAT?!

            DEUCE: I'm the only one with a Gundam that can stay in the air long enough to actually destroy them.

            SAI: You can't go, Mr. Author Guy!  If you die, there'll be know one left to finish writing the story!

            DEUCE: That's where you're wrong, Sai Saici.  If I die here, I'll only be dead in this storyline, not in the real world.  If I die it's only because I wrote my character dead.

            *Sai looks confused.

            DEUCE: Let me put it this way.  If you die, does that mean the voice actor who plays you is dead?

            SAI: Well…um…

            DEUCE: No, it doesn't.  It's the same way for me.

            *Skywing Gundam takes to the air.

            DEUCE: If I don't come back, avenge my death.

            DOMON: How are we supposed to do that?

            DEUCE: Finish the mission.

            *Skywing Gundam disappears from sight.  Back at Fort McNutsack, General Sexual, Private Parts, and the rest of the soldiers at the fort are watching the monitor intently as Skywing Gundam rushes to meet the incoming missiles in an attempt to single-handedly destroy them.

            SOME RANDOM SOLDIER: General Sexual, sir, do you think that guy can really stop those missiles alone?

            GENERAL SEXUAL: Yes, I do lieutenant.  I have faith in that kid.

            *Back in the desert, Domon and the others are still fighting the Dark Army.

            CHIBODEE: How many more do we need to destroy before they stop?!

            DOMON: All of them!

            CHIBODEE: Well that just sucks ass!

            *Meanwhile, Skywing Gundam has caught up with the missiles.

            DEUCE: There they are!

            *Deuce unsheathes his sword, Skywing.  Skywing Gundam draws a larger version of the sword.

            DEUCE: These missiles aren't going any further!  Skywing Sword!

            *Skywing Gundam plunges the sword into the first missile.  The missile detonates.  Skywing Gundam starts to maneuver like a fighter jet, slashing each missile as they get near.  The missiles explode.

            DEUCE: That takes care of them.  I'd better get back to the others.

            *Skywing Gundam turns around and heads back towards the others.  Meanwhile, Domon and the others have finally destroyed the attacking Dark Army troops.

            DOMON: Finally.  That's the end of them.

            *Suddenly, one of the Dark Army mobile suits gets up from its position faking defeat on the ground and prepares to attack Domon from behind.

            RAIN: Domon!  Look out!

            DOMON: Huh?!

            VOICE: Skywing Sword!

            *The MS is sliced in two.  Domon turns around to see Skywing Gundam putting away its sword.

            DOMON: Gee, thanks, Deuce.  I owe you one.

            DEUCE: There's no time for that.  We've got to hurry.  Let's go!

            *The group speed s towards Baghdad.  Night falls.  The ten Gundams reach the outskirts of the city shortly before daybreak.

            MR. BLACK: Okay.  We's got to find da hanger an' stop the Devil Gundam from being activated.

            MYSTERIOUS EVIL VOICE: I'm afraid you're a little late for that.

            DOMON: Who said that?!  Where are you?!

            *Six Gundams step out of the shadows.

            SAI & ARGO: Gundam Heaven's Sword?!

            CHIBODEE & GEORGE: Grand Gundam?!

            RAIN & ALLENBY: Walter Gundam?!

            DOMON: Master Gundam?!

            MR. BLACK & EXAVIER SKANK: Dumbass Gundam?!

            DEUCE: *fire in his eyes and hatred in his voice* Jihad Gundam!

            DOMON: This is impossible!  I saw five of those Gundams be destroyed!

            RAIN: They must have been revived with DG cells!

            MASTER GUNDAM'S PILOT: That's right!  We are the Devil Gundam's Six Evil Kings!  Now rise, Devil Gundam, and show yourself to the whole world!

            *The Devil Gundam rises up from the center of the city.  Bill Gates is standing on its shoulder.

            BILL: BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

            SHUFFLES: Oh no!

            DOMON: We've got to destroy it!

            *Domon starts to head for the Devil Gundam.

            MASTER GUNDAM'S PILOT: Stop him!

            *Suddenly, millions of Dark Army mobile suits burst out of the sand and surround the Shuffle Alliance.  Realizing that it would be suicide to try to fight back, everyone but Domon surrenders without a fight.  Domon stands his ground.  Shining Gundam enters Super Mode.

            DOMON: I will never give up!  School of Toho Fuhai!  The ultimate secret technique!

            RAIN: Domon!  No!

            DEUCE: Don't do it!

            DOMON: Sekiha…

            CHIBODEE: No!

            MASTER ASIA'S GHOST: _You fool!_

            DOMON: …Tenkyouken!

            *Suddenly, Shining Gundam stops working completely, leaving Domon helpless against the Dark Army.

            MASTER GUNDAM'S PILOT: Kill him!

            TO BE CONTINUED…

            STALKER: All right, everyone, it's the moment you've been waiting for!  Domon is left defenseless and surrounded by the entire Dark Army when the Shining Gundam suddenly stops working!  The others surrender and are thrown in jail.  But wait!  What's this?  Can it be…Next, on Mobile Fighter G-Gundam, "Domon in Trouble!  God Gundam Returns!"  Ready…Go!


	9. Part 9: Domon in Trouble! God Gundam Ret...

             DISCALIMER: Go back and read one of the other eight disclaimers.  I'm not writing one this time.

_             Last time…_

            *Millions of Dark Army mobile suits surround the Shuffle Alliance.  Realizing that it would be suicide to try and fight, everyone but Domon surrenders without a fight.  Domon stands his ground.  Shining Gundam enters Super Mode.

            DOMON: I will never give up!  School of Toho Fuhai!  The ultimate secret technique!

            RAIN: Domon! No!

            DEUCE: Don't do it!

            DOMON: Sekiha…

            CHIBODEE: No!

            MASTER ASIA: _You fool!_

DOMON: Tenkyouken!

            *Suddenly, Shining Gundam stops working completely, leaving Domon helpless and surrounded by the entire Dark Army.

            MASTER GUNDAM'S PILOT: Kill him.

            *Stalker appears.

            STALKER: Now everyone, this was the dismal scene that we left you with at the end of the last chapter.  With his Shining Gundam useless, it seems that all Domon Kasshu can do is accept his defeat and await his death.  However, there is still some hope left for him.  Let's get things started!  Gundam Fight all set?  Ready…GO!

                        Part 9: Domon in Trouble! God Gundam Returns!

            MASTER GUNDAM'S PILOT: Kill him.

            *The Dark Army opens fire on the motionless Shining Gundam.

            DOMON: AAAAHHHH! Come on, Shining Gundam, work!  Shining Finger…Damn!  Shining Finger…Damn!

            MASTER GUNDAM'S PILOT: Heh heh heh!  That's right.  Just sit there and DIE, King of Hearts!

            *Domon's Gundam continues to take a pounding from the Dark Army.

            MASTER GUNDAM'S PILOT: Take them away.

            *Deuce and the others are led away to be thrown in jail.  Shining Gundam still hasn't moved an inch.

            DEUCE: Domon!  Do it now!  Call it!  Call the God Gundam!  Now is the time!

            *Deuce is smacked across the face by a Neo Iraqi military official.  Another official strips him of his sword.

            DOMON: That's right.

            *Flashback*

            RAIN: Oh yes!  Yes!  Yes!

            *Back to the present…

            DOMON: No, that's a little too far back.

            *Another flashback*

            DEUCE: I brought the God Gundam here in the event that you needed it.  Don't use it just yet…You'll know when the time comes.  It'll be when you are in dire need…

            *Back to the present…

            DOMON: That's right!  I'm in dire need right now!  I'll wait for a break in the shooting and then go for it.

            *The break Domon is waiting for comes a few minutes later.

            DOMON: Now's my chance!

            *Domon gets out of the Shining Gundam and makes a run for it.

            SAI: Way to go, Bro!

            *The military official hits Sai.

            MASTER GUNDAM'S PILOT: He's gotten out of his Gundam!  Don't let him get away!

            DOMON: Who ever I was running away?

            *A sly smile crosses Domon's face.

            MASTER GUNDAM'S PILOT: What's he doing?!

            DOMON: RISE…GOD GUNDAM!!!

            *Domon snaps his fingers.

            MASTER GUNDAM'S PILOT: God Gundam?  Oh shit!  Get the prisoners out of here!

            *Deuce and the others are spirited away into Baghdad.  Climactic battle music is heard as the God Gundam appears on the horizon.

            MASTER GUNDAM'S PILOT: Where's that music coming from?

            DOMON: I don't know.  It's been following me for over two years.

            *God Gundam arrives.  Domon gets in.  The God Gundam then enters Hyper Mode.

            DOMON: Let's try this again.  School of Toho Fuhai!  The ultimate secret technique!  SEKIHA TENKYOUKEN!

            *The attack destroys hundreds of thousands of Dark Army MS's.

            DOMON: God Slash Typhoon!

            *God Gundam performs the attack Domon used to defeat George's Rose Hurricane during the Gundam Fight Final Battles.

            DOMON: Heat End!

            *The remaining Dark Army MS's explode.

            DOMON: *to Master Gundam's pilot* You're next!

            *The blue hand-guard-thing drops down over God Gundam's right hand.  The King of Hearts crest appears on Domon's right hand.

            DOMON: This hand of mine is burning red!  Its loud roar tells me to grasp victory!  Here I go!  Erupting Burning-

            *Master Gundam jumps out of reach.

            MASTER GUNDAM'S PILOT: I'm sorry, but as much as I'd like to fight you, now is not the time.  We'll meet again, King of Hearts.

            *Master Gundam and the other five Kings disappear.  Meanwhile, Deuce and the others have been taken to a local jail.  Rain has just been thrown into the cell with the others.  Mr. Black is next.

            DEUCE: Hey, you bastard!  Let us go this instant!

            NEO IRAQI MILITARY OFFICIAL: Be quiet, infidel!  Once we expose you to DG cells you won't want to leave!  You'll find that it's rather nice here.

            MR. BLACK: Dere's no way you's puttin' dat shit on me!  I's outta here!

            *Mr. Black knocks out the two guards and starts to escape.

            DEUCE: Yeah!  Go, Mr. Black!  Find Domon!

            MR. BLACK: Sure ting, dawg!

            PRISON WARDEN: *on the P.A. system* We have an escapee!  Capture him!

            MR. BLACK: Hell no!  Yous ain't catchin' me!

            *Mr. Black runs through the prison, knocking out anyone who gets in his way.  Eventually, he makes it out of the prison and into the city itself.

            MR. BLACK: Now I's gots ta find Domon.

            *Mr. Black finds Domon a few hours later in a bar near the edge of Baghdad.

            MR. BLACK: Domon!  Dere you is!  I's been lookin' all over fo yas!

            DOMON: Mr. Black, are the others okay?

            MR. BLACK: Yeah, fo now.  But we's gots ta act fast.  Dey's gonna be exposed ta DG cells soon.

            DOMON: That's not good.

            MR. BLACK: You's got dat fool.  Come on.  I gots a plan.

                        TO BE CONTINUED…

            STALKER: All right, everyone, it's the moment you've been waiting for!  With the others imprisoned, Domon and Mr. Black formulate a plan to break them out before they are exposed to DG cells!  Next, on Mobile Fighter G-Gundam, "Break Out!  Mr. Black to the Rescue!"  Ready…GO!


	10. Part 10: Break Out! Mr Black to the Resc...

            _Author's Note: I think it's time to address one of the points brought up in the reviews for this fic.  J.C.Killa, the DG cells would affect Chibodee, Argo, Sai, and George.  Remember, this Devil Gundam was developed by Saddam Hussein and Bill Gates.  It's a completely different model than the one created by Domon's father.  Its DG cells are designed to affect anyone, even those who would normally be protected by the Shuffle crests.  I hope that clears things up for you._

            DISCLAIMER: Due to the events of the last chapter, all official G-Gundam characters and Gundams, including the God Gundam, are property of Sunrise, Bandai, and whoever else is responsible for the Gundam series.  Everything else belongs to me, except for the song that I sing.  That belongs to KISS.__

            _Chapter 10 of Desert Storm! Attack on __Iraq__! starts in 5…4…3…2…1…_

            *Stalker appears.

            STALKER: Now everyone, some shocking events have just occurred.  While Domon was struggling to get the Shining Gundam working again, Deuce and the others were taken prisoners by the Neo Iraqi military and thrown in jail.  Remembering what Deuce had said in Chapter 7, Domon called the God Gundam and defeated the Dark Army.  Back at the prison, the captured Fighters learned that they were going to be exposed to DG cells soon.  Fortunately, Mr. Black escaped and was able to find Domon.  Now, the two men must save the others before it's too late…Let's get things started!  Gundam Fight all set?  Ready…GO!

                        Part 10: Break Out!  Mr. Black to the Rescue!

            *A bar in Baghdad

            DOMON: Mr. Black, where did they take the others?

            MR. BLACK: Dey's bein' held in a prison downtown.  I don't know how much longer dey's gonna be safe, though.

            DOMON: Huh?  Why?

            MR. BLACK: Dose guys is gonna expose Deuce an' da others to DG cells!

            DOMON: That's not good!

            MR. BLACK: Hells no it ain't good, fool!  We's gots ta act fast!  Come on.  Follow me.

            *Soon, the two men are in an alley-way near the jail.  They poke their heads around the corner.

            DOMON: So this is where they're being held?

            MR. BLACK: Dat's right.  Quick!  Get back!  Guards!

            *Domon and Mr. Black duck back into the alley just as two Neo Iraqi soldiers walk by.  Domon farts.  Mr. Black elbows him.

            NEO IRAQI SOLDIER # 1: Abdul, excuse yourself!

            NEO IRAQI SOLDIER # 2: Oh, sorry.

            *The soldiers leave.

            DOMON: How are we supposed to get in there?

            MR. BLACK: Don't worry.  I gots a plan.  See dat window? *points to a window on the jail wall* You's gonna go in dat way.  Meanwhile, I's gonna walk in da front door an' fake turnin' myself in.  Den…*starts to whisper in Domon's ear*

            DOMON: Okay…Uh-huh…Ooo, nice…Alright…I like that…

            *Inside a short time later…

            PRISON GUARD: *reading a newspaper* Huh?  Having sex with camels ISN'T a healthy recreational activity?!  Damn, I wish I had known that sooner.

            *The guard looks up from the paper just as Mr. Black walks in the front door.

            PRISON GUARD: Hey!  You that guy who escape earlier today!

            MR. BLACK: Yeah, I's come to turn myself in.  But on one condition.  You's gots ta let ma friends go free.

            PRISON GUARD: Okay.  We let them go free.  Soon as they expose to DG cells that is.

            MR. BLACK: *pulls out a gun* No DG cells on any of dem, ya hear!

            PRISON GUARD: Why you!  I call for-

            *Before the guard can finish his sentence, Domon appears behind him and snaps his neck, Steven Segal style.  The guard drops to the floor, dead.

            MR. BLACK: Nice timin', dawg.  Quick, get da keys.

            DOMON: *pulling the keys off the dead guard's belt* Got 'em!

            MR. BLACK: Okay!  Les go!

            *They run off towards the cell blocks.  Meanwhile, in their cell, everyone is crowded around Deuce.  The author has used his powers to produce a guitar and has started to play a sad, slow song.  As he plays, he starts to sing.

            DEUCE: *singing* ♪ Beth, I hear you calling, but I can't come home right now.  Me and the boys are playing, and we just can't find the sound.  Just a few more hours, and I'll be right home to you.  I think I hear them calling.  Oh, Beth, what can I do?  Beth, what can I do? ♪

            *Short interlude.

            DEUCE: ♪ You say you feel so empty.  That our house just ain't a home.  That I'm always somewhere else, and you're always there alone.  Just a few more hours and I'll be right home to you.  I think I hear them calling.  Oh, Beth, what can I do?  Beth, what can I do? ♪

            *Long musical interlude.

            DEUCE: ♪ Beth, I know you're lonely, and I hope you'll be all right, 'cuz me and the boys will be playing all night. ♪

            *Deuce finishes playing.  Everyone in the cell applauds.

            RAIN: That was good, Deuce!

            CHIBODEE: Ya know, I kinda liked that.

            ANOTHER GUARD: Hey!  Quiet down in there!

            EXAVIER: Music hating bastard.

            SAME GUARD: I heard that!  Hey!  Where did you-

            *SNAP!*

            *Suddenly, the guard falls dead in front of the cell.

            DOMON: Hey!  Are you guys all right in there?

            SAI: It's Bro!

            RAIN: Domon!

            *Domon opens the cell.

            DOMON: Quickly, before they find us.

            *Everyone rushes out of the cell.  Domon hands Deuce Skywing.

            DOMON: Deuce, here.

            DEUCE: Domo arigato.

            DOMON: *blinks* Huh?

            DEUCE: I thought you spoke Japanese.

            DOMON: I do.  What does that have to do with anything?

            DEUCE: Never mind.  Let's just go.

            *The group makes it out of the prison undetected.  This is probably because Domon snapped the neck of every guard they came across.

            DOMON: Everyone, call your Gundams.  We're going after the Devil Gundam now.

            *The group calls their Gundams.

            DOMON: Now to destroy the Dark Gundam.

            DEUCE: You mean "Devil Gundam"?

            DOMON: Yeah, whatever.

            *A mysterious man steps out of the shadows.

            MYSTERIOUS MAN: I'm afraid I can't let you do that.  I'm one of the Devil Gundam's Six Evil Kings.  My name is Damecius and you're going to die right here, right now, Shuffle Alliance!

                        TO BE CONTINUED…

            STALKER: All right everyone, it's the moment you've been waiting for!  Domon and the others come face-to-face with a young man called Damecius, who happens to be one of the Six Kings.  While the others press onward, Sai Saici and Argo stay to fight Damecius and the Gundam Heaven's Sword.  Next, on Mobile Fighter G-Gundam, "The Gauntlet Begins! Gundam Heaven's Sword!"  Ready…GO!


	11. Part 11: The Gauntlet Begins! Gundam Hea...

So what if they caught Saddam? It has o effect on this fic. So guess what? I'm continuing this! Here's Chapter 11.

_Author's Note: I needed people to be the Six Kings. Rather than invent them, I asked five of my friends to volunteer for the jobs. I chose five because I already had the sixth person in mind. Anyway, thanks to my friend Damecius (no, that's not his real name) for volunteering to pilot the Gundam Heaven's Sword (known as Soaring Raven Gundam in the English dub)._

Disclaimer: You guys should know by now that all the official G-Gundam characters and Mobile Fighters belong to Sunrise, Bandai, and all the other people who are getting rich off Gundam. Anything else more than likely belongs to me, and I'm not making a single cent off of them.

_Last time…_

DOMON: Now to destroy the Dark Gundam!

DEUCE: You mean, "Destroy the Devil Gundam."

DOMON: Yeah, whatever.

*A mysterious man steps out of the shadows.

MYSTERIOUS MAN: I'm afraid that I can't let you do that. Allow me to introduce myself. I am one of the Devil Gundam's Six Evil Kings. My name is Damecius and you are going to die, right here, right now, Shuffle Alliance!

*Stalker appears.

STALKER: Now everyone, think back to the Final Battle Royal of the 13th Gundam Fight for a moment. I'm sure you all remember this scene.

*A clip of Domon, Sai Saici, and Argo fighting against the Gundam Heaven's Sword is shown.

STALKER: That's right. This is the time when Domon, Sai Saici, and Argo were forced to fight against Michello Chariot and his Gundam Heaven's Sword! Now I know you're thinking "But Michello is dead and Heaven's Sword is destroyed. Why is he bringing this up?" I'll tell you why. It all has to do with the mysterious young man named Damecius. He's one of the Six Kings and the new pilot of the Gundam Heaven's Sword! The Shuffle Alliance must face this menace once again! Let's get things started! Gundam Fight all set?! Ready…GO!

Part 11: The Gauntlet Begins! Gundam Heaven's Sword!

DOMON: We're only after the Devil Gundam. Get out of our way!

DAMECIUS: If you want to get to the Devil Gundam, you'll have to beat me first!

*Gundam Heaven's Sword appears behind Damecius in Mobile Fighter (MF) mode. Damecius gets in. God Gundam enters Hyper Mode.

DOMON: I'll make quick work of you! Erupting Burning Fing-

DAMECIUS: Don't think so.

*Heaven's Sword transforms into its bird mode and takes to the air.

DOMON: Kuso!

*Sai Saici and Argo step forward.

SAI: Bro, we'll take care of this one. You and the others head after the Devil Gundam.

DOMON: But…

ARGO: We beat Heaven's Sword once, and we'll do it again. Now go! We'll catch up to you later!

DOMON: Right. Let's go!

*Domon, Deuce, Rain, Allenby, Chibodee, George, Exavier Skank, and Mr. Black press onward, leaving Sai and Argo behind.

DAMECIUS: Where are you going?!

*Suddenly Bolt Gundam's Graviton Hammer comes flying up at Heaven's Sword. Damecius barely avoids the attack.

ARGO: …! …!

DAMECIUS: O_o What did he just say?

SAI: I think he said, "Pay attention! We're your opponents!"

DAMECIUS: In that case, take this! 

*Heaven's Sword fires off its feather projectiles. Dragon Gundam back flips away. Bolt Gundam dives aside then answers with the Graviton Hammer. The Hammer takes off one of Heaven's Sword's wings. Suddenly, a new one grows in its place.

ARGO: What?!

DAMECIUS: I'm one of the Six Kings, remember? That means I've acquired the power of DG cells!

*Heaven's Sword transforms into an MF and forces Dragon Gundam into hand-to-hand combat. The two robots go blow for blow, but Heaven's Sword quickly gains the upper hand. Dragon Gundam gets knocked back. Heaven's Sword transforms back into a bird.

SAI: Damn, he's tough!

ARGO: Yes, but he can be beaten.

SAI: Right! Feilong Flags!

*Dragon Gundam throws its beam flags into the air. Heaven's Sword avoids them as the come back down. It then lands and changes into Mobile Fighter mode.

DAMECIUS: Is that the best you've got?

ARGO: GAIA CRUSHER!

*Bolt Gundam drives its fist into the ground, forcing the earth to buckle in a line towards Heaven's Sword. Damecius's Gundam simply takes to the air.

DAMECIUS: Damn, you two suck.

SAI: Hey, Mister, I think we should use the same strategy we used against Heaven's Sword last time.

ARGO: Right.

*Dragon Gundam and Bolt Gundam turn gold.

DAMECIUS: What the hell?! They've turned gold!

SAI: SHIN RYUSEI KOCHOUKEN!

*Dragon Gundam takes to the air with the kamikaze move and comes down right on top of Gundam Heaven's Sword, sending the machine towards the waiting Bolt Gundam.

DAMECIUS: What the hell are you two doing?! Are you trying to make me crash?!

ARGO: Graviton Hammer!

*The beam chain of the Graviton Hammer wraps around Heaven's Sword's body. Bolt Gundam then pulls Heaven's Sword to the ground.

DAMECIUS: You people are CRAZY!!!!!

*Those were the last words out of Damecius's mouth, for as soon as he said them, Dragon Gundam jammed one of its flags into the head of Gundam Heaven's Sword, causing it to explode. Seconds before the explosion, Argo and Sai Saici exchange what the hope won't be their last words.

SAI: We did it, Mister.

ARGO: Yes…Again.

*Gundam Heaven's Sword explodes, killing Damecius and trapping Dragon Gundam and Bolt Gundam in the blast. A distance away, Domon looks back over his shoulder to see the explosion.

DOMON: Sai Saici! Argo! Nooo!

CHIBODEE: They'll be fine. They survived a blast like that before.

*Suddenly, Rising Gundam comes to a stop.

DOMON: What is it, Rain?

RAIN: Domon, look.

*Rain points to a Gundam standing a short distance in front of them.

DOMON: Master Gundam.

MASTER GUNDAM'S PILOT: We meet again, King of Hearts.

DOMON: You again.

TO BE CONTINUED…

STALKER: All right everyone, it's the moment you've been waiting for! Domon has once again come face-to-face with the mysterious pilot of the Master Gundam. Don't expect a battle between these two just yet, because the Shuffle Alliance has to fight their way through the remaining four Kings, starting with a young man by the name of J. Gotti. Next, on Mobile Fighter G-Gundam, "A Massive Opponent! Grand Gundam Revived!" Ready…GO!


End file.
